Yes, you read the title right. Obesity
is not the problem in our bodies. Obesity is actually our bodies protecting
itself from the chaos we put it through. I feel like the more I learn, the less
I know. I’m constantly trying to learn more. In any free time I have in my
crazy life, I’m most likely reading a book on nutrition or watching a documentary
on the foods produced in this messed up world. In a way, I’ve actually done
more harm than good by educating myself. A few months back, I actually gave
myself an eating disorder of sorts. I was afraid to eat because I knew exactly
what was in my food. I knew exactly what it was going to do in my body down to
the cellular level. I was deathly afraid of carbs. Animal protein? Uhhh, no
way. And don’t even get me started on fat! The problem is there is so much bullshit
out there. How do we know what’s true and what’s not? We don’t. I truly believe
we are, for the most part, completely fricken clueless when it comes to what is
good for our body and what’s not. That’s why I stick to a diet based off of
what Mother Nature has given to us (and yes, sometimes that includes locally
grown, hormone free chicken or grass fed beef… sue me).
I’ve
had one single question since I started my research and studying on health and
nutrition, a question that no matter where I looked I couldn’t seem to find the
answer. There are people all over the world who live off of the earth. There
are some people who live off of animal fats and muscle… And that’s it. And
there are also people who only have fruits and vegetables available to them. If
you look at these people, their diets are so different, but they all have two
things in common; One, they are free of disease and illness and two, they don’t
eat processed foods. No MSG, no hormones, there’s no antibiotics in their meat;
there’s no chemicals in their fruits. They are, for the most part, CHEMICAL
FREE. This is where the rest of the world fails. There is so many chemicals and
just plain crap in the foods we eat. And the scary part is very few people are
aware of it.
I have
people message me or come up to me and ask me questions all the time about my
diet and exercise routine. My diet? Whole food. My exercise? I just move as
much as I can. It’s literally that simple. But what people don’t understand is
the whole foods part. I tend to get frustrated with people when they don’t
understand. But I’ve recently come to the realization that when I first started
this journey, I had no clue what was in food, what was good for my body and
what happens to the food once it’s in my body. “Spirulina? What in God’s name
is that? Wheat grass? Sounds like something I want to smoke. Kale? Ohh yeah
that green shit, I’ve seen it.” It has taken me years of educating myself to
fully grasp the concept. To most, it’s not that easy. For me, 5 years ago, it
wasn’t easy either. I started out with weight watchers eating half a doughnut,
counting my points and thinking I was healthy. I’m so angry that proper
nutrition isn’t taught earlier in life… Or at all! We were always taught “drink
your milk! Eat your dairy! Don’t forget to drink your orange juice!” It sickens
me. People are clueless and it’s scary. Thank God the UK is now at the top of
the list for the World’s Most Obese country and the US has been knocked down to
number two. I’m ashamed to live in a country that has its priorities so fucked
up. (New post about reasons to give up dairy coming soon!)
Okay, I’m
done ranting for now. I would like to write a whole post on the world’s obesity
problems, but this post is an update on how my cleanse is going. I said I was
going to write everyday but I found that this was way more personal than I
thought it was going to be. I decided to write in the safety of my journal for
the past two weeks instead. Most of the things I’m working on are not things I
want to share with the public but I will say that the past two weeks have been
one hell of an emotional roller coaster. This cleanse is a focus on me.
Pampering myself, loving myself, learning thought processes that I never knew
existed. Learning to love myself has
been the most difficult yet most empowering thing I have ever done. Years and
years of self-doubt and self-consciousness has left my inner demons fighting
every step of the way. Who knew it would be hard to like yourself?! As the days
go by, I’m finding it easier and easier to say nice things to my body. Your
cells have ears and their listening to everything you say!
Taking
time for me has also been a challenge. I’m so used to putting all my energy
into making other people happy. I always ask myself “what will make them
happy?” never before have I asked “what will make ME happy?” Funny thing is,
when I asked myself that question, I had no clue what the answer was. That’s
been a major focus for me. What the hell makes me happy? I actually had to sit
down and write a list of all the things I love. It was harder than I imagined.
This is what I came up with:
1)
Family time
2)
The sounds of a summer night
3)
Working out
4)
Walking
5)
The stars
6)
Getting lost in a book for hours
7)
Talking with a close friend
8)
Being outside
9)
Sunshine
10)
Fuzzy blankets
11)
Driving with the windows down and the music up
Odd, yes. But these are the things
that make me really happy. If I woke up tomorrow with only these things in my
life, I would be content. I spend so much time focusing on others, I forget to
do what makes me happy. Helping other people is easy, it’s what I’m good at. I
love fiercely. Often times it gets me into trouble, other times, It’s the best
quality about me. My life is focused around others. Even my job is about taking
care of other people. Yes, I love taking care of other people, but there’s a
time when taking care of me becomes more important. I can focus on me but still
have time to make my mom dinner at the end of the day. Balance. That’s what I’ve learned. My life
needed balance.
Through
meditation, I’ve had a few unwanted emotions that I’ve been shoving down find
their way out of my steel bolted wall. Some of which is bitterness and anger. I
didn’t realize I was holding on to so many poisonous emotions until they came
out. Bitterness from my past; all those people who’ve done me wrong, starting
from the girls in middle school to the ass hole last week. I’ve been holding on
to it. My body has been feeding off of it. One thing I had to focus on was
forgiving. I sat down one night after work and wrote a letter to all the people
who have hurt me in my life. I wrote down what they did, what I felt at the
time, what I’m feeling currently and the last sentence always said “I forgive
you and I forgive myself.” It took my hours. But when I was done, such an odd
sensation came over me. Like running cold water over a burn; I felt relief… Some
of the things I was writing down, I had completely forgotten about until that moment
when it all came spilling out of my pen. So many things that I’ve shoved down
hoping to forget all came pouring out. It was poison to my body.
Learning
to love, and actually love myself,
not just saying it, was the biggest challenge by far. But it’s funny, the more
you tell yourself how fucking awesome you are, the more you start to believe
it. When I first started saying that I loved myself, there was always this
voice in the back on my head saying “ha! How can you love those thighs? What about
your man shoulders? What about the eyelid that droops lower than the other one?
Who would love you?” After planting the thought of loving me into my head,
overtime that voice got more and more quite. When I say that I love myself, I
truly do. I appreciate my body for what it is and I accept myself; man
shoulders and all. The concept of loving yourself is literally the key to
everything. Hating yourself is like drinking poison every morning. It does you
no good what so ever. Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is
exactly what you will experience and what you will become in life. Just as the saying
goes, “you are what you eat” You are also what you think. So think positive,
think happy, think love, think laughter, think kind, think peace and think
forgiveness. You might be surprised what these little changes in your thinking
bring your way.
