Obesity is not the problem, it's the solution

             Yes, you read the title right. Obesity is not the problem in our bodies. Obesity is actually our bodies protecting itself from the chaos we put it through. I feel like the more I learn, the less I know. I’m constantly trying to learn more. In any free time I have in my crazy life, I’m most likely reading a book on nutrition or watching a documentary on the foods produced in this messed up world. In a way, I’ve actually done more harm than good by educating myself. A few months back, I actually gave myself an eating disorder of sorts. I was afraid to eat because I knew exactly what was in my food. I knew exactly what it was going to do in my body down to the cellular level. I was deathly afraid of carbs. Animal protein? Uhhh, no way. And don’t even get me started on fat! The problem is there is so much bullshit out there. How do we know what’s true and what’s not? We don’t. I truly believe we are, for the most part, completely fricken clueless when it comes to what is good for our body and what’s not. That’s why I stick to a diet based off of what Mother Nature has given to us (and yes, sometimes that includes locally grown, hormone free chicken or grass fed beef… sue me).

                I’ve had one single question since I started my research and studying on health and nutrition, a question that no matter where I looked I couldn’t seem to find the answer. There are people all over the world who live off of the earth. There are some people who live off of animal fats and muscle… And that’s it. And there are also people who only have fruits and vegetables available to them. If you look at these people, their diets are so different, but they all have two things in common; One, they are free of disease and illness and two, they don’t eat processed foods. No MSG, no hormones, there’s no antibiotics in their meat; there’s no chemicals in their fruits. They are, for the most part, CHEMICAL FREE. This is where the rest of the world fails. There is so many chemicals and just plain crap in the foods we eat. And the scary part is very few people are aware of it.

                I have people message me or come up to me and ask me questions all the time about my diet and exercise routine. My diet? Whole food. My exercise? I just move as much as I can. It’s literally that simple. But what people don’t understand is the whole foods part. I tend to get frustrated with people when they don’t understand. But I’ve recently come to the realization that when I first started this journey, I had no clue what was in food, what was good for my body and what happens to the food once it’s in my body. “Spirulina? What in God’s name is that? Wheat grass? Sounds like something I want to smoke. Kale? Ohh yeah that green shit, I’ve seen it.” It has taken me years of educating myself to fully grasp the concept. To most, it’s not that easy. For me, 5 years ago, it wasn’t easy either. I started out with weight watchers eating half a doughnut, counting my points and thinking I was healthy. I’m so angry that proper nutrition isn’t taught earlier in life… Or at all! We were always taught “drink your milk! Eat your dairy! Don’t forget to drink your orange juice!” It sickens me. People are clueless and it’s scary. Thank God the UK is now at the top of the list for the World’s Most Obese country and the US has been knocked down to number two. I’m ashamed to live in a country that has its priorities so fucked up. (New post about reasons to give up dairy coming soon!)

                Okay, I’m done ranting for now. I would like to write a whole post on the world’s obesity problems, but this post is an update on how my cleanse is going. I said I was going to write everyday but I found that this was way more personal than I thought it was going to be. I decided to write in the safety of my journal for the past two weeks instead. Most of the things I’m working on are not things I want to share with the public but I will say that the past two weeks have been one hell of an emotional roller coaster. This cleanse is a focus on me. Pampering myself, loving myself, learning thought processes that I never knew existed.  Learning to love myself has been the most difficult yet most empowering thing I have ever done. Years and years of self-doubt and self-consciousness has left my inner demons fighting every step of the way. Who knew it would be hard to like yourself?! As the days go by, I’m finding it easier and easier to say nice things to my body. Your cells have ears and their listening to everything you say!

                Taking time for me has also been a challenge. I’m so used to putting all my energy into making other people happy. I always ask myself “what will make them happy?” never before have I asked “what will make ME happy?” Funny thing is, when I asked myself that question, I had no clue what the answer was. That’s been a major focus for me. What the hell makes me happy? I actually had to sit down and write a list of all the things I love. It was harder than I imagined. This is what I came up with:

1)      Family time

2)      The sounds of a summer night

3)      Working out

4)      Walking

5)      The stars

6)      Getting lost in a book for hours

7)      Talking with a close friend

8)      Being outside

9)      Sunshine

10)   Fuzzy blankets

11)   Driving with the windows down and the music up

         Odd, yes. But these are the things that make me really happy. If I woke up tomorrow with only these things in my life, I would be content. I spend so much time focusing on others, I forget to do what makes me happy. Helping other people is easy, it’s what I’m good at. I love fiercely. Often times it gets me into trouble, other times, It’s the best quality about me. My life is focused around others. Even my job is about taking care of other people. Yes, I love taking care of other people, but there’s a time when taking care of me becomes more important. I can focus on me but still have time to make my mom dinner at the end of the day.  Balance. That’s what I’ve learned. My life needed balance.

        Through meditation, I’ve had a few unwanted emotions that I’ve been shoving down find their way out of my steel bolted wall. Some of which is bitterness and anger. I didn’t realize I was holding on to so many poisonous emotions until they came out. Bitterness from my past; all those people who’ve done me wrong, starting from the girls in middle school to the ass hole last week. I’ve been holding on to it. My body has been feeding off of it. One thing I had to focus on was forgiving. I sat down one night after work and wrote a letter to all the people who have hurt me in my life. I wrote down what they did, what I felt at the time, what I’m feeling currently and the last sentence always said “I forgive you and I forgive myself.” It took my hours. But when I was done, such an odd sensation came over me. Like running cold water over a burn; I felt relief… Some of the things I was writing down, I had completely forgotten about until that moment when it all came spilling out of my pen. So many things that I’ve shoved down hoping to forget all came pouring out. It was poison to my body.

        Learning to love, and actually love myself, not just saying it, was the biggest challenge by far. But it’s funny, the more you tell yourself how fucking awesome you are, the more you start to believe it. When I first started saying that I loved myself, there was always this voice in the back on my head saying “ha! How can you love those thighs? What about your man shoulders? What about the eyelid that droops lower than the other one? Who would love you?” After planting the thought of loving me into my head, overtime that voice got more and more quite. When I say that I love myself, I truly do. I appreciate my body for what it is and I accept myself; man shoulders and all. The concept of loving yourself is literally the key to everything. Hating yourself is like drinking poison every morning. It does you no good what so ever. Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience and what you will become in life. Just as the saying goes, “you are what you eat” You are also what you think. So think positive, think happy, think love, think laughter, think kind, think peace and think forgiveness. You might be surprised what these little changes in your thinking bring your way. 

The Power of Your Own Mind

             

              So for the next 21 days I’ll be embarking on a journey; a journey to heal my mind. I have a ton of goals for myself. Some of which I’ve had for a long time but have never seemed to be able to accomplish. For example, Yoga and meditation. I used to be the type of person who was so close minded to the power of such practices. My brother has been shoving meditation down my throat for years but the stubborn side of my brain kept telling him that it doesn’t work. It was only within the past few weeks that I’ve been seriously contemplating the idea. The more research I did, the more books I read, the more I started to be convinced. I realize now that the stubborn part of my brain is exactly the problem.

                I’m so tired of hating myself. No matter what I do, I can never seem to get past the same road block. I’ve had so many self-esteem issues my whole life. I’m ready to change that. I want to radiate positivity and I want my happiness to be contagious. I want to enrich the lives of the people who surround me. I want to get rid of the negative thoughts about myself and about others. I want to unlearn and relearn thought processes. I want to finally forgive the people who have done me wrong in the past and more importantly, I want to forgive myself for all those stupid things I’ve done. I want to get past my past. I want to move forward in my life.

                Driving has always been my escape. Never underestimate the power of just driving with the windows down and the music up. The other day, I was trying to clear my head, so I went on a drive. The weirdest thing happened to me. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with love. Love for my family, for my very few close friends, my many new friends, the trees around me, the sky above me and the ground below me. I was so filled with joy and love I almost broke down in tears. There was not a cell in my body that had hate, anger, sadness or bitterness. It was like a high I’ve never experienced before.  I want to feel like that all the time. I want to be the Justine that my mind has never let me become. I want to be happy.

               So for the next 21 days I’ll be cleansing. It’s not just a food cleanse, but a cleanse of my mind. A cleanse of negativity and anger; of sadness and of bitterness. I will learn to forgive, I will learn to forget and I will learn to love. I’ve never felt so sure of anything in my entire life. I’ve come so far in my journey to find optimal health and happiness. I feel like I’m so close to a break through. I just need to keep pushing. I will be writing every day for the next 3 weeks, so keep an eye out for my posts about progress. You better watch out, I might turn into a Yogi/Buddhist/hippy/meditation freak. Haha just kidding, that will never happen. I’m still a Pendletonian at heart. Now I’m just a Pendletonian with a twist! 

Cave Girl Gone Vegan?

(Preface: I’m going to ask for people to keep their comments to themselves on this post. If you’re an asshole hillbilly who doesn’t respect other people’s life choices, then please hit the back button and continue scrolling through Facebook. Thank you.)

                For the past two years, I’ve known nothing besides eating like a caveman. High protein, high fat, low carb. Eating basically endless amounts of animal protein and healthy fats. Paleo changed my life. It opened up the gates to the world of whole foods, however; since going Paleo, I’ve done a ton of research. I’ve educated myself on just about every diet out there. Low carb, high carb, low fat, high fat, weight watchers, paleo, 80/10/10, vegetarian and vegan.

The past few months have been extremely rough on me. Starting with an emotional downfall in October then soon worsened by my seasonal depression, it’s safe to say I wasn’t feeling too well and all those pounds I worked so hard to lose eventually found their way back to my mid-section. Around January was when I’d finally had enough. I felt like shit. The crazy thing was that I changed absolutely NOTHING in my diet and workout routine. The pounds just kept creeping back up on me. I was so frustrated and so upset I didn’t know what to do with myself. On top of all of that, my naturopath encouraged me to drop my birth control which was the only thing that I felt was making me stable.  I was an unstable, emotional wreck. And I was fat again which in turn made me more unhappy and the cycle continued on down.

That’s when I found 80/10/10 diet. These are crazy fruitarians who eat literally nothing but fruit. 80% carbs (from fruit), 10% fat (which most of them cut out totally) and 10% protein (from plant based foods). I was fascinated with this lifestyle. I mean 10 bananas for breakfast? 6 mangos for lunch? 1lb of greens and more fruit for dinner? Yes please! I of course read the book cover to cover soaking up information on a low fat vegan lifestyle. Since the 80/10/10 diet was a bit extreme for me, I started exploring Veganism. I started doing my research. For me, it wasn’t about animal rights, it’s about what our bodies are physiologically made to process and break down.  

We have very little evidence of Paleolithic days. We have little to no evidence that Paleolithic man ate a wholly mammoth every day. Chances are they were probably gathering more than they were hunting. Here’s a few reason why humans aren’t made to chow down on a cow:

Walking: All carnivores walk on four feet. We walked erect on two feet.

Claws: Take a look at your hands… Could you rip through tough animal flesh with those things? Probably not.

Opposable thumbs: We have thumbs that make us well equipped to do things like pick up fruits and pick vegetables. We could no more catch and rip the skin or tough flesh of a deer or bear barehanded than a lion could pick mangos or bananas.

Colon formation: We have 26 feet of intestines. If you were to lay it all out, it would cover an entire tennis court. Carnivores have a very, very short intestinal tract. Meaning that it breaks down the food and shortly after, eliminates it. What happens to it in our colon? It takes hours to break down, then it stays in your intestines rotting away for a day or two until it is finally eliminated. Ummm, I don’t know about you, but I would rather not have rotting meat and cheese in my gut.

Vitamin C: Carnivores manufacture their own vitamin C, humans need vitamin C from the food we ingest.

Teeth: Take a look at your teeth. Could you rip through flesh with those things? No way.

Stomach Acid: The pH of a carnivore’s stomach acid is roughly 10x more acidic than a humans. The acidity levels help break down flesh.

Basically, our physiology is way different than a carnivore’s. What makes us think we can eat the flesh of other animals without backlash? Truth is we are getting some serious back lash from it. Heart disease, diabetes, cancers, strokes, clogged arteries, Kidney disease and the list goes on and on. These are all risks of a diet so high in animal protein and byproducts. And don’t even get me started on milk! At what age do mothers stop breastfeeding their child? 5 months? A year? It can vary, but it’s abnormal and downright weird to see a child older than 4 breastfeeding. That’s because we no longer need that nutrition anymore. We stop producing the enzyme Lactate to break down lactose. It’s estimated that 75% of the population is lactose intolerant. Isn’t it a bit weird that we stop drinking our mother’s milk, but continue to drink milk from another animal…? Is that just me?

It didn’t take much convincing for me to get on board the vegan train. I was 100% vegan for a month and had finally taken off some weight again. However, I was still feeling bogged down. That’s when I found the 28 Day Fast Metabolism Diet. This diet is supposed to heal your metabolism, adrenal glands and thyroid. It’s no different than how I was eating before. It’s simply whole foods. The only difference is that I have to eat certain foods on certain days at specific times. Crazy enough, I’m just starting my last week of this diet and I’ve dropped 18 pounds. Everything that I gained back and more. I feel like 75% better and am looking forward to getting back on the Vegan lifestyle as soon as this diet is over and I can go eat some sushi.

I guess the whole point of this post was to show that setbacks happen. For me, it was my hormones that screwed me over. I’m hoping that this year I can heal my mind and my body through a healthy lifestyle and meditation so that when winter comes, the depression doesn’t come with it. I truly believe that a Vegan lifestyle is the way human beings were supposed to eat. We are supposed to eat whole foods that come from the earth and are given to us to nourish and heal our bodies. Your body is your temple. Treat it with respect. The more I research, the more I learn. Nutrition is my passion and I will continue to go through life trying to find the ideal diet. I may have just found it.

I know I have a lot of readers from Pendleton. Since I grew up in Pendleton, I turned my nose up at any animal rights bullshit. Who cares if cows are slaughtered? I get a nice juicy steak and that’s all I care about! Trust me, I had that exact mindset. I know all you Pendletonians will give me hell for my change of lifestyle. Go ahead; call me a hippy or a hipster or whatever. Just take a look at this before you judge me for my choices. Maybe the next time you bite into a steak or hot dog, you’ll think twice. 

Winter Favorites

I’ve had a ton of requests to post some of the recipes I’ve been posting on my Instagram (If you have an Instagram and don’t follow me, Fromfattytofit, go follow me and take a look at my journey!). These are just a few of my favorites, however; my diet doesn’t vary much. It’s not because I don’t have options, but because these are the foods that my body can digest without any problems. I’ve recently made some changes in my diet and fitness routine. That post will be up shortly. It’s a bit of a shocker. Anyway, back on track! Here we go.

1) Vegan Quinoa Chili: This shiz is the bomb. Ton of flavor and a crap load of protein.

Ingredients:

½ quinoa, rinsed

1c water

1tbs olive oil

1 small onion, chopped

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 jalapeno pepper, diced

1 large carrot, chopped

2 celery stalks, chopped

1 green bell pepper, chopped

1 red bell pepper, chopped

2 medium zucchini, chopped

2 (15oz) cans of black beans

1 (15oz) can of red kidney beans

3 (15oz) cans of diced tomatoes

1 (15oz) can of tomato sauce

3tbs chilli powder

1tbs cumin

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1) In medium sauce pan, combine quinoa and water. Cook over medium head until water is absorbed. Set aside.

2)In large pot, heat olive oil over high heat. Ass onion and cook until tender. Stir in garlic, jalapeno, carrot, celery, peppers and zucchini. Cook until vegetables are tender.

3)Add black beans, tomatos, and sauce. Stir in the cook quinoa. Season with chili powder and cumin. Let simmer for about 30 minutes.

4)You can top this with whatever your heart desires. If you eat diary, top it with cheese and sour cream. If you’re like me and can’t tolerate dairy, top yours with some avocado, and crushed up tortilla chips. YUM.

2) Vegetable sauté: This is my go to lunch. Easy, fast and soooo good.

Ingredients: (This is what I use, but you can mix it up)

1 yellow bell pepper, sliced

1 red bell pepper, sliced

¼ onion, sliced

5 mushrooms, sliced

3 zucchinis, diced in quarters

1 jalapeno pepper

1 garlic clove

1tbs olive oil

Directions:

1)Heat olive oil in a large pan on high heat. Add garlic and let cook for a minute or so.

2)Throw in all your vegetables and cook until almost done (usually about 5-6 mintues)

3)Add whatever seasoning you like. I usually add a bit of paprika, a large amount of chili powder, salt, pepper  and some cumin. I don’t measure out seasonings. I just add them in until it smells good.

I will sometimes heat up some black beans and put this over a bed of rice or I eat it as is. (Most of the time I eat all this in one sitting)

3) Banana Chia Oatmeal: I make this a head of time. It can be eaten hot or cold. This taste like freakin banana bread.

Ingredients:

3/4c steal cut oat ground into flour

2tbs chia seeds

1 ripe banana, mashed

2-3c almond milk

2 tbs pure maple syrup

Cinnamon to taste

1tsp vanilla

Nutmeg to taste

1tbs walnuts, optional

2tbs raisins, Optional

Directions:

1)In a high speed blender, grind steel cut oats and chia seeds until a powder forms. Remove and place into a medium sized pot.

2)Stir in 2c of almond milk and increase  heat to low-medium. Stir in the mashed banana and 1tbs of maple syrup. Heat for 4-5 minutes, adding milk for desired consistency (I like mine really thick).

3)Remove from heat and stir in your cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla. Top with 1tbs maple syrup , walnuts and raisins.

4) Chia pudding: This stuff is so amazing. You’ll find me over the kitchen sink eating this out of the jar… Sometimes I have manners and put it in a bowl first, but not very often.

Ingredients:

2c Native Forest coconut milk (This shit is hard to find. The only place I’ve been able to find this brand is at New Seasons. If you’re reading this from Pendleton, you’re SOL. Any coconut milk will do)

1/3c chia seeds

1 1/2tbs pure maple syrup

Cinnamon

Directions:

1)Put coconut milk, chia seeds, maple syrup and cinnamon into a jar and shake it up. I add a liberal amount of cinnamon to mine because I’m obsessed with it at the moment.

1)Put in the fridge overnight. Top with your favorite fruit. I think mango compliments the texture and flavor nicely. I eat this for breakfast, a snack or dessert. It’s THAT good. 

This is only a few of my favorites. If I put all of them, this post would be a million miles long. Hope you enjoy!

The Woman I Want To Be

Like every other year, this year was full of ups and downs. But for the first time in a very long time, I have to say that this year had more happiness than ever. In the midst of trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, the blood sweat and tears, the stress of school and work, the worries of money, financial aid, grades and my future, I learned a lot of life lessons. One of those lessons was to be happy with the life I’m living. I learned to stop searching for happiness and just find comfort and happiness in the things that I have in the now. I learned to not take any shit from anyone. If there is someone who makes you feel less than you truly are, ditch them. Only associate yourself with people who add positivity to your life. I learned to deal with stubborn, rude and inconsiderate people. I learned who my true friends are. I learned that my crazy, stubborn and loud family is the most important thing in the world to me. I learned that school isn’t about grades; it’s about expanding your knowledge and learning. I learned that some men just aren’t worth the pain and tears. I learned that if you park in the PCC parking lot, your car doors will be dinged and scratched to all hell. I learned to never leave my car doors unlocked or my windows down (learned that one the hard way). I learned that I can be strong when I have to be. I learned that I really, really like to take care of people. I learned how to take care and heal myself through health and fitness. I’m so amazed at how far I’ve come in my wellness journey and I’ve reached goals and broke through barriers I never thought possible.  And most importantly, I learned that who I’ve wanted to be turned out to be exactly who I am today.

For the longest time, I was searching for the true me. It was an endless cycle of feeling lost and confused. I didn’t know where I belonged and I sure as hell had no clue who I wanted to be. But then I looked around at the people surrounding me and I knew exactly who I wanted to be.

Mom: I want to be someone who is totally selfless. I want to be someone who can forgive. I want to be someone who loves unconditionally and who would give up everything for the people she loves.

Dad: I want to be someone who is strong. I want to be someone who works their ass off to support their family. I want to be someone who supports the one’s they love 100%.

Jess: I want to be someone who is content with simplicity. I want to be someone who can just go with the flow. I want to be someone who isn’t afraid to follow their dreams.

Shane: I want to be someone who loves everyone. I want to be someone who has an open mind. I want to be someone who is caring and compassionate. I want to be someone who can face their fears head on.

My whole life, I just wanted to be a good person. I wanted to be honest, caring, strong, smart, selfless and light hearted. Over this past year, I stopped wanting to be that person and actually became her. I love who I am. I love who I’ve become. All the challenges I’ve faced this year have turned me into the woman I am today. I still have a lot of life lessons to learn and I’m sure I have many challenges coming my way but I know how to face them now and I’m no longer afraid. I think one of the greatest challenges I’ve faced this year was learning to love myself. Once I learned to love myself, it was like the gates of happiness opened up. I used to hate compliments because I didn’t believe them. I used to never call myself beautiful. I would look at myself and criticize everything about me. One day, I got fed up of the negativity and depression and looked in the mirror and said “you are beautiful.” And not in the “oh my god, I’m so hot” kind of way. I believed I was beautiful on the inside and to me, that’s all that matters. I’ve worked in a nursing home long enough to know that outward beauty doesn’t last long, but inner beauty shines through. It’s so powerful that those old, wrinkly, gray haired men and women are absolutely beautiful to me. I know who I am now, I know where I’m going and I know exactly where I want to be and to me, that’s the most beautiful thing in the world. I’m so excited about this New Year and I can’t wait to see how far I can push myself with my fitness and new found self-love. I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New year!  

2013 Highlights:

Falling off the Wagon

Weight loss is a serious struggle. The people who are going through their weight loss journey's have had their tough times, their setbacks and their moments of wanting to throw in the towel and give up. We've all been there, especially me. Especially within the past 3 weeks. Actually, it’s been more within the past 2 months. I've had a really hard time staying on track. In the past three weeks, I've probably only hit the gym five times, which is bad for me. I wouldn't fret it normally, but when my eating is not where it’s supposed to be, my gym time is even more crucial.

In my nutrition class, my professor approached me about my Paleo lifestyle. She told me that she was extremely worried about me and that Paleo is not a safe way to live. I was told that I needed to be eating whole grains and whole wheat along with legumes and all the foods I've banned from my diet. She told me that I would have some major health problems in the future if I didn’t start eating more carbs. At that point, I was pretty freaked out. So I did what I knew I shouldn’t do. I started eating wheat again. And beans and starches and all the foods that I KNOW make me feel like complete and utter shit. What happened in the following two weeks was downright scary.

In the back of my mind, I was actually happy I got to eat bread again. It’s something I haven’t allowed myself to eat in a very long time. The first week was fine. I was eating whole wheat pasta, whole grain bread, oatmeal and pancakes again! I was so excited. I actually lost a few pounds (probably because I was counting calories). It started off slow. It was getting harder for me to fall asleep at night, I would hit a major wall around 3 o’clock every day, I was hungry all the time and I felt bloated all day. I just ignored it because I was still eating healthy, right? I was eating all the things the food pyramid told me was okay to eat. The next week, my acne came back full blown. I had gotten used to basking in the glory of have baby smooth skin again. I loved my skin for once in my life and BAM, all of a sudden I had multiple Mt. Everest’s on my forehead. Next thing I knew, I couldn’t wake up early anymore. I felt like I could sleep all day and my face blew up like a balloon. My body is so inflamed I’m almost unrecognizable. I’ve gained probably five pounds and my depression has come back full swing.

A few days ago, I had an appointment with my naturopath who was not very happy with me in my change of diet. I’ve come so far since seeing her and I basically threw it all away in a matter of weeks. She asked me something that blew me away and I’ve never thought about before. What do they feed cows to fatten them up before slaughtering them? Grains and corn. They feed these animals grains to make them fat! Hello?! Why the hell am I eating them? I knew better but I let one person change my mind about the lifestyle I know is good for me. So the past two days I’ve been strictly Paleo again and let me tell you, my acne is nearly gone when just two days ago it was like I was back in middle school again during puberty. I was able to wake up this morning feeling energized again. I ate a good breakfast four hours ago and I’m not hungry yet. I’m not fatigued anymore and my face is already deflating.  

I learned my lesson from this. Grains and wheat are evil. Period. The end. I will never go back to eating that stuff again. No matter what anyone says. I eat the food that makes me feel good and that’s all there is to it. Getting back into the swing of things is tough. Every one falls off the wagon more than once in their journey. I’ve come up with a few things that will help you get back on track if this happens to you.

Simplicity- Sometimes going back to simple foods is the best way to get back on track. I love making elaborate foods with tons of flavor, but I also love a chicken breast with veggies on the side for dinner. Go back to simple, light foods for a while.

Get new workout clothes- For me, this is the biggest motivator. Go buy some new nikes or new work out pants. It will make you excited to rock your new hot oufits to the gym. TJ-Maxx, Nordstrom Rack as well as Marshalls has some great name brand workout gear for extremely cheap.

New Music- Fill your ipod with new workout music. Sometimes a good song is all it takes to get you through the last 5 minutes of your run and studies have shown that a good song can make you work out harder.  

Try new things- I used to be so uncomfortable in the gym. I would always stick to the machines I know. When I started branching out and lifting, I started loving to work out again. Change it up in the gym. Make your workouts fun. I’ve been doing different work out videos that kill my ass and thighs but they’re fun and different and I can always try a different video the next day.

Try new foods- We tend to get stuck in eating the same things every day. That gets boring. Start experimenting with new foods. I usually eat 2 eggs with an apple and almond butter every single morning. This morning I changed it up. I had a Paleo blueberry muffin in a mug. It was delicious and it kept me full. I’m excited to change up my lunch today! When you start getting tired of your foods, it makes it easier to start cheating (I’m a perfect example of that). Change it up. Have fun with foods.

Start today- After you have a setback, it’s so easy to keep eating the way you shouldn’t be. Don’t wait until tomorrow, start right now. There’s no reason to start up again tomorrow, or Monday or even next week. Get back on track now. Trust me, you’ll be much happier.

Stay Positive- Positive thoughts are everything in weight loss. Start thinking negatively and your negative thoughts will consume you. Self-efficacy: “I think I can”. Have a strong self-efficacy. Be the little engine that could!

I hope this will help you if you’ve had a major setback like me. I lost sight of why I was Paleo and just started focusing on my weight. That’s where my downfall started. My health is so much more important to me than my looks. I choose to be Paleo and I choose to be happy and healthy. 

A Positive Twist To A Shitty Situation

This post isn't going to be about health and fitness, necessarily, but about the changes I've recently made in my life to become a happy more positive person. I don’t let very many people get to know me very well, so for those of you who don’t really know who the real Justine is, fasten your seat belts because you’re about to learn a lot about this chick.

I've spent the past 2-3 years absolutely miserable, hating myself, blaming myself, blaming other people, pushing people away and just not being a very pleasant person to be around. The last time I remember being genuinely happy was in 5^th grade. What kid isn’t happy in 5^th grade, though? But even still, I’ve had self-esteem issues for as long as I can remember. Staring in the mirror in 4^th grade wondering why I had a roll of fat around my tummy when my other friends didn’t. Going through middle school and losing all my friends. Getting rejected by my first crush because I wasn’t skinny and pretty enough (his words, exactly. What a dirt bag). Losing my best friend because I wasn’t cool enough to hang out with anymore. Sitting at the middle school dances during a slow song and wondering why no boy asked me to dance. Then hitting high school and discovering the oh-so-wonderful acne. I started comparing myself to other girls. If it wasn’t for some of my amazing guy friends, I probably wouldn’t have been asked to a single high school dance. After graduating high school and going through the rejections of guys that I liked, thinking that they didn’t want me because I was fat and ugly. In truth, the reason they rejected me was because I was a crazy bitch who hated myself so much it made it impossible for anyone to love me. All this stuff sounds so petty and small compared to life now, but through all of that, it’s left a few scars.

Someone once told me that this picture explains my life in a nutshell. There I am, standing in the sunshine smiling and pretending everything is okay and happy go lucky, but in the back ground is dark and stormy. The truth of what I was really feeling at the time. Looking back on this picture blows my mind. My life in a nutshell. 

A lot of my depression comes from my self-hatred. Another part comes from my intestinal tract issues. Fun fact: 80% of your serotonin (I like to call it the happy hormone) signal comes from your GI Tract. Well guess what? Mine doesn’t function properly.  No happy hormone for Justine. I get my happy hormone from something else called alcohol (just kidding, mom). But in all seriousness, this has had a pretty big impact on my happiness, but I’m currently getting all that junk figured out by drinking god awful dirt tasting tea that my naturopath prescribed to me and getting poked by needles.  Stupid Portland hippie doctors. All of these things have built up to make me pretty damn miserable. I never think I’m enough for anyone and I’m extremely hard on myself. I’ve always had a hard time finding the positives in my life. So I’ve come up with a few things that I think are extremely shitty, and I’ve put a positive twist to them.

My Job: I do a lot of work for a little pay. I don’t think I’ve come home without some sort of feces or bodily fluid on my shirt. Postive Twist: I have a steady pay check and I’ve gotten so much experience from this job. I love every single one of my residents like they were my own family. I now have 31 grandma’s and grandpa’s and that’s a pretty cool thing. Also, if I didn’t wind up in Memory Care, I don’t think I ever would have figured out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I’ve found the only thing I’m really good at.

Homework: The cause of all evils. It does nothing but cause stress. Positive twist: It’s my choice to do this. This is my future and I WANT it.

Bitches: No one likes girls like this. Just mean hearted with no regards to other people's feelings. I've recently had an experience with a girl who pretended to be my friend, then turned around and stabbed me in the back over a guy. Is there really a positive to this situation? Yes. Positive twist: I got a damn good laugh at how stupid she made herself look.  I let karma take control on that one.

Gas money: Literally takes every penny I’ve got to get around in this city. Positive Twist: At least I have a car.

Heartbreaks and rejections: Let’s face it, no one enjoys heartbreaks and sometimes it really is hard to find a positive twist, but I have found one. Positive Twist: I’ve learned so much from every single heartbreak and rejection. Because of this, I’m a totally different person than who I was a few years ago. Thank god.

The rain: I hate rain. So much. Positive Twist: It makes Portland damn Beautiful in the Spring and Summer.

Doughnuts: The fat girl inside me really misses these. Positive Twist: I’ve lost so much weight without them!

My body: I have some self-esteem issues. Positive twist: I’m working at it every day and making progress loving what I see every day!

These are just a few things that I’ve made more positive in my life. I recently got a tattoo. I’ve been wanting this tattoo for a long time but recently decided to get it because I’m finally living by it. I’ve been a prisoner to my own mind, trapped by the negativity and darkness for so long. I’ve been trapped by my past, I’ve been trapped by what society says I should be doing with my life, I’ve been trapped by my own self-hatred but I’m finally setting myself free. I will live my life the way I want to. I want to go places and see things. I want to do things that I’ve never done and start checking things off my bucket list. I want to discover. I want to have adventures! I want to live my life to the fullest. The thought of graduating college, getting a job, going to work, meeting a guy, marrying the guy, having kids, working my ass off to barely  make ends meet, getting old and dying just doesn’t appeal to me. Who knows if I’ll ever really settle down? I’m 20 years old and I’m going to make the most of what I have and let life take me wherever it wants to. No matter where I end up, I just want to be happy. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.