I’m back! I just couldn’t stay away for too long. Last week was a rough one. I honestly don’t know what came over me. I was just feeling overwhelmed with life. Having no clue what’s in store for me was giving me severe anxiety. My whole life is up in the air right now and riding on if I get into the paramedic program or not. I let stress take over and ruin a lot of things; however, I learned something. It’s all about perspective. How you think about things is everything. You are what you think and I was definitely thinking negative. I should have taken the time to step back and look at the whole picture before I let the negativity consume me. When I applied for the program, I had the attitude that I was just going to let the wind take me wherever it blows. Then all of a sudden, I was fighting it. Trying to control my own life but sometimes God (or whatever you believe in) closes a door to simply tell you “wrong direction.” And that’s okay. It was an eye opener. Trying to force things that just don’t make sense was the wrong thing to do and because of that, I destroyed the few good things I had going for me. But today is a new day and I’ve changed my perspective. Shit happens, life knocks you down and sometimes you just feel hopeless but I woke up yesterday morning and decided to find the positives in life. Life knocked me down pretty good, but I stood back up stronger than ever. The day has color again, I’m smiling again, I’m laughing again and I feel better than ever. Funny what the mind is capable of. Old Justine would be lying in bed right now wallowing in self-pity, but the new Justine, the Justine I’ve been working on for over a year now got out of bed this morning, worked out, drank a green juice and soaked up the beauty surrounding me. Because life is beautiful, even when you can’t see the light, it’s there. It’s all about how you look at it.
Being human, it’s normal to feel something. Our emotions are powerful. Instead of blocking out painful emotions and shoving them down, I let myself feel them. I cried. Then I wiped my tears and moved on. I acknowledged what I was feeling and then let it go. I’ve spent my whole life thinking that showing emotion wasn’t okay. I’ve been called an emotional black hole on numerous occasions. No more. When I feel something, I LET myself feel it because it’s okay to feel hurt, sad or angry. It’s okay to cry every once in a while, it’s okay to break down and feel sad but it’s NOT okay to let yourself be consumed by those emotions. Pick yourself up off the ground and keep moving. Despite some shit that went down, I feel good. Like years of pent up emotions has been lifted off my shoulders. It’s a crazy feeling. Just because I let myself actually feel something for once, I got my sunshine back. Let me tell you, feeling numb and empty is a hell of a lot worse than feeling sad or hurt. I would take any emotion over feeling like your soul has been ripped out of your body.
I also want to thank everyone who has been so, so supportive and kind to me through this whole mess. The messages I received and the kind words that were spoken to me nearly brought me to tears. When I write this kind of stuff, I’m not looking for attention. I don’t do it so people feel bad for me. I do it so maybe someone who is going through the same thing doesn’t feel alone. I want people to know that they aren’t the only ones going through this, that there’s a silver lining. Because if I can get hit hard by life and get back up, so can you. I write to inspire, not just to live a healthy life, but to keep smiling and stay strong. Life’s a bitch but it’s beautiful. Everybody has bad days but it’s all about perspective (:
I’ve had a ton of questions from people about my lifestyle so I’ll answer them here just in case I didn’t get back to you (:
Q) Do you count calories?
A) NOOOOOOO. Just the thought of counting calories stresses me out. I’m the type of person who obsesses about things like that. Before I found my way to whole foods, I counted calories. There was a time when I went over my calories by 5 and I broke down and worked out for an hour after I had already worked out that day. 5 calories! That’s all! I don’t think counting calories is healthy. I believe when you eat whole foods, counting calories isn’t necessary. Your body sends out a hunger signal when you need nutrients, when you eat a high nutrient density diet, you aren’t as hungry because your body is getting all the nutrients it needs. But if you try to ease the hunger signal with a high sugar meal or a burger and fries, you're essentially getting little to no nutrients, so a few hours later you’re starving again.
Q) “I’m really self-conscious about my mid-section, but I’m okay with the rest of my body. How do I reduce just my belly fat?”
A) You cannot spot reduce. You cannot spot reduce. YOU CANNOT SPOT REDUCE! Overall body fat loss is the only way to lose the belly pooch. Sorry!
Q) Are you vegan?
A) No. I’m “selectively vegan”. Meaning that I like to stick to primarily plant based diet; however, put a grass fed steak in front of me, chances are I will devour it. As long as I know exactly where it comes from and what’s in it, I’ll eat it.
Q) “You don’t eat gluten, you don’t eat sugar, you don’t eat corn and you don’t eat animal products or byproducts, what do you actually eat?”
A) Fruits, vegetables, seeds, nuts and grains and the occasional grass fed beef or organic chicken and fish. My menu is basically endless. I still eat pasta, I still eat hamburgers, I still eat cake and I would never give up pancakes. But I’ve found that nearly every unhealthy dish can be made healthy with a few twists and kinks.
Q) What is your workout routine?
A) My workout routine never stays the same because I get bored too easily. I try to run once a week, sprints 1-2 times a week, lifting 2 times and week and I usually try to fit in a HIIT workout in there somewhere. Honestly, when I don’t feel like working out, I just try to move as much as I can, which means dance parties in the middle of my kitchen!
Q) How do you stay on track?
A) I don’t! I lose motivation, I get too tired, and sometimes I just don’t feel like getting out of bed. But I’ve found that reading books that inspire me to be healthy works. I always have my nose in a book, might as well use that for good! I’m always looking for new health material. Also, when I eat like shit, I feel like shit. That right there is motivation enough!
If you have any more questions feel free to ask! Once again, thank you to all the people that didn’t give up on me. You’ll never know how much I truly appreciate it (: